Unlocking abundance – how to spend more money

I’ve never understood how other people viewed money. Some spent it mindlessly and struggled to pay the bills. Others would go traveling until the money ran out. Even responsible professionals in their thirties would splash out on a holiday with under 3 months’ runway in the bank. Others spent a year’s salary on an extravagant wedding. It seemed insane.

I had the opposite problem

I instinctively locked my money away, never to see the light of day. As a boy playing the original Pokémon on Game Boy, my little avatar had heavy shoulders from lugging a ridiculous hoard of cash around Kanto. I refused to buy potions or TMs unless necessary, instead training my Pokémon to defeat their enemies without aid as I constantly shuttled back and forth from Nurse Joy to heal my battered Pokémon for free. I did not like spending even virtual money.
Once I started working as an engineer, I found a nice cheap room in a share house and tracked every single transaction I made so I knew exactly where my money was going and I could maximize value for money. I learned of “financial independence retire early” and calculated that if my assets were 10x my outgoings, I could feasibly live off passive income. Soon I was saving 30-40% of my take-home salary, a percentage that increased as my pay increased and I carefully avoided lifestyle creep. Five years later I had saved a deposit to buy a house, and a few more years later I upsized just as the headlines were screaming about a cost of living crisis and an all-time high in house prices relative to incomes. I plotted my net worth on a graph and projected into the future, that rising line could reach a million pounds by age forty if I continued on this path. I had assets worth 10x outgoings and had achieved a significant milestone towards financial independence. In theory, I could let out my house and comfortably retire somewhere cheap and tropical off the rental income.

At that point, I realized that something had to change.

In retrospect, I wanted freedom. I grew up in a household where my parents worked long hours and minimized spending to send me and my siblings to a good school. Those were the most miserable years of my life. I remember drawing a picture in art class of myself in a colorless cage while bright animals played in the lush green fields around me. I felt so trapped. I swore never to compromise my quality of life for money, never to be held prisoner to expectations from my parents or society, and never to be shackled by money.
Yet as I looked at my graph of projected exponential growth in wealth, I felt something was wrong. That rising line on the graph was starting to form new bars around me instead of providing the freedom I sought. Frugality was no longer a choice; it was a compulsion, and I was wasting time saving pennies. I was no longer poor; I needed to break free of that scarcity mindset. Yet I had zero interest in either wasting away on a beach or slaving away just to build a lifeless pile of gold.

How could I spend the money?

I wasn’t going to waste it on pointless luxury. I’ve traveled a lot in my life, sometimes to the point that the novelty had worn off and I just wanted some quiet time at home instead of cramming into a tourist destination and stuffing my face with food. I was looking for something else. What was the point in saving all this money if it didn’t have a dramatic impact on my life? It was a surprisingly difficult question.
Over months of deliberation, I started to spend money to make my life better. I wanted to buy convenience and save myself time. Living alone, a cleaner wasn’t cost-effective and also impractical with all the scheduling and letting them into the house. So I started with automation. I bought a robot hoover and a robot lawn mower, which have saved me many hours. It was progress, but I had barely made a dent in the bank account, and it was far from life-changing.
Meanwhile, at work, I found the solution. Time and again I’ve found that the critical challenge is finding the right question rather than an answer. Due to a strange combination of substantial investment, hiring constraints, and a use-it-or-lose-it financial policy, my team each had a ridiculous amount of money to spend in a few months. So each week, the project manager would ask the question: how can we use the money to accelerate our progress?

That was the lightbulb moment

In the past, I’d always tried to achieve my goals as cost-effectively as possible. Like every other man on the planet, I wanted <10% body fat. So I educated myself on free content, joined a cheap gym, and failed year after year after year. What if I could spend money to up my odds instead of dragging the heavy ball and chain of frugality behind me? I signed up for a nicer gym, which was twice the cost but had a beautiful sauna. I paid someone to plan my meals, who has kept me on track through ups and downs. While I haven’t hit my 10% goal yet, I’m in better shape than I ever have been before.
Then I took it a step further. Previously, I was just happy to add to my investment portfolio and see the numbers go up. Other people saved for a deposit, children, a holiday. This was unnecessary motivation as far as I was concerned; I saved and invested just because it generated returns without any work from me. Now I demand more of my assets; every penny should also help me achieve my goals. First is basic financial independence, both freedom and a safety net. It was difficult to put a number on how much was enough, but I’ve settled for stock returns which could cover frugal living costs (excluding housing which is a separate investment). Second is a demolition ball to smash through the financial obstacles. Right now, I’m planning to take 6 months off work to supercharge my training and then learn Japanese in Japan next year. Lastly, it is ammunition for moonshots. Perhaps in the future, it’ll enable me to renovate my house, go back to university, or start a business.

I don’t regret those years of frugality

Even while saving, I had an exciting life. I sailed around the Canary Islands, kayaked in Germany, skied in France and Austria, and surfed in Australia. I’ve lived in London, Melbourne, and Shanghai. I cycled around Taiwan and trained Muay Thai in Thailand. I’ve made lifelong friends and had wonderful relationships. The frugality forced me to carefully choose the most important things, say no to mindless consumerism, and utilise my resources carefully and effectively. The best things in life are not expensive, and I am fortunate to have enough.